My husband is 15 years my senior and he’s now taking it slow as a senior citizen. I love him truly as he was an exemplary husband and father throughout our married life. I never expected or planned to fall into an affair with my office colleague who’s seven years younger. It just developed because of our closeness over the long years as office mates.
I’m a credit investigator and my paramour was my junior assistant. I trained him and spent a lot of time in the field together getting actual viewing reports of properties. Spending too much time together in and out of the office for eight hours in close confines like the company car worked up a physical attraction and intimacy between us. We joked that we spent more time with each other than our spouses.
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Del my younger lover is married too. He’s developed some kind of addiction to me because he takes every opportunity to rub his body against mine during private moments. My skin bristles too with the feel of his hardness and I’ve taken to clutching at it or rubbing it secretly when he presses against my behind. We tease and laugh a lot. I feel guilty especially during dinner with the hubby after a heated exchange with Del at work. I rush to the bathroom upon arriving home to cleanse myself of the incriminating moistures.
My husband’s noticed some change in my fashion sense because of the dalliance with a younger office mate. Our vibrations must have been picked up by others in the office and I’m sure they suspect something’s going on but can’t pin a finger on it. My trying to look younger than my age with clothes and make up is a telltale sign of my infatuation with Del and it’s hard to hide it. During one office party we stuck to each other like leeches. We ended up holding each other in a darkened room and letting our emotions and juices flow far from the madding wagging tongues.
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Del and I have not done it yet. It’s just the heavy petting stage. There was a stage in the relationship when we both tried hard to cut cleanly for the sake of our partners whom we love very much. But the hots came back with a vengeance. This was after I invited Del and his family over to our home to meet up close with my family in an attempt at bonding and warming relations. After he glimpsed my domestic get up in a relaxed state he muttered silently that felt more aroused and drawn to me.
I love the attention Del gives and me and dress in such a way as to invite more of it. In the evening social events related to the office affairs, I put on airs as the elegant and sophisticated seductress which really tempts him to eye me with a romantic malevolence. I love the feeling that he worships every inch of my pulchritude. In fact, I’m attracted to him because he is so boyish and virile unlike my elderly hubby who easily gets tired and given to retiring ways. Being Mrs. Robinson to his fumbling young Dustin Hoffman is like a teacher student sinful delightful forbidden apple.
One time Del and I had to drive to the suburbs to inspect a residential unit for loan approval. Right outside the gate he suddenly drew me close and looked into my eyes and told me he was falling in love with me. I held his gaze and smiled. The chemistry between us is boiling to a full blown love affair which could damage our families. I’m afraid that we are headed to a motel room somewhere in the near future and can’t fight it anymore. Pity my poor husband who probably suspects something but is helpless to stop it.
Then in the office the following week, he kept staring at me with lustful eyes and took every chance to come close and play footsy under the desk. He must have been aroused by my foxy look which I admit I really put together to prick his libido. We went outside the office for a breather and couldn’t take off our eyes from each other. Unspoken words flamed by nervous smiles fanned the flames and we joined in a passionate kiss for the first time since I broke him in as a young member of the credit team.
I suddenly feel young and fresh not the nearing middle age looker that I eventually would end up to. The kiss with Del makes me toss and turn in the bed which makes my husband sit up and feel disturbed in silence. I know he feels insecure about my impending illicit liaison or maybe he thinks I’m deep into it already. He might be right because by the end of the week Del and I were back in each other’s arms at the roof deck kissing heatedly with consuming passion. Help me, advise me, and please help me to recover my senses before I hurt somebody and myself and my job.
Gradually Self Destructing
Dear Gradually Self Destructing:
Any kind of love, feeling, or lust can be ennobled by altruism. Love is a giving of oneself to the object. It’s not purely self gratification. It is a feeling of love and concern for the welfare of another.
This is separate from physical fulfillment. Such passion could consume you to get lost in a wickedness and lack of proper decorum but as long as you don’t wreak injustice or damage to anyone then such a weakness could be exculpated by the benefits delivered to those who are touched by it.
Protect your husband from any kind of hurt by making a supreme effort to keep it as discreet as possible. Your aging will accelerate in the next few years making the gap between your ages as lovers more pronounced but adhere more closely to your permanent life partner.. Make sure you allow for your young lover to turn his eye somewhere else as time goes by. Make it practical and short to dissipate temporal urges but make it meaningful as a friendship that will be long lasting and full of goodwill not only for him but his family as well.
Love is a détente and a falling together in proper coalition of aspirations and desires. It shouldn’t be hurtful, unjust, and exploitative. More than anything else it should make for a unity in spirit and affection for your fellow men leading to recognition of oneness with the Father Creator and all that exist in the dimension that we know and thrive in.
Be lucky in the love you share. Be happy in the life you endow the lives of others by the nobility of your intentions.
MAHATMA GHANID
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