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CHAVIT AND CHE:
At first ’twas a lovers’ dream life

By Nancy C. Carvajal
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 01:37:00 09/06/2009

MANILA, Philippines—Like living a dream.

This was how Rachel “Che” Tiongson, 37, described her early years with Deputy National Security Adviser Luis “Chavit” Singson, 68.

“[I was] 19, a provincial lass, wooed, pursued and loved by a powerful and rich man who showered [me] with material gifts and promised everlasting love—it’s every girl’s dream,” Tiongson told the Inquirer on Friday evening.

But after 17 years of being together, she said: “If being free and safe means losing this luxurious life, then I will gladly go back to a simple life.”

Tiongson recently filed a criminal complaint accusing Singson, her former live-in partner, of beating her on August 22.

“I am not afraid to lose all these material things ... I came from a simple family, I can always go back to it without regrets in exchange for freedom and peace of mind,” she said during an interview in a restaurant in Quezon City.

Tiongson said she thought the travels abroad, the flowers and candlelit dinners, the attention and expensive gifts would last forever.

“In the beginning, we were happy and so much in love. He was very generous and loving. I thought it would always be that way,” she said.

“I intensely loved him, I was fiercely loyal, faithful and waited on him hand and foot. I prepared his meals, made sure his needs were met and I made him happy. I was a hands-on mother,” she added.

Tiongson has five children with Singson, aged 16, 13, 11, 9 and 8.

Despite all her efforts to make the union work, rumors of his womanizing never ceased.

“I was at his beck and call, I obeyed him, I respected him. I was a good wife and a good mother. I always tried to look my best, to be pleasing to his eyes. But he would verbally abuse me every time I questioned him about other women,” she said.

The verbal abuse became so intense and frequent, Tiongson said she even learned to live with it.

“It came to a point when the demeaning insults and hurtful invectives became normal,” she said. “I resented his relationships with younger women ... He was cold with me and ignored me. He changed and I found myself falling out of love with him.”

Oppressive environment

When Tiongson realized she no longer loved him, she tried to leave what she described as an “oppressive environment.”

“I felt like a prisoner, I wanted to live a life with dignity, free from physical and mental abuse,” she said.

She told Singson that she wanted to separate from him, because “I could no longer bear his womanizing ways.”

He did not try to stop her from leaving but used their five children as leverage.

“He told me he will no longer give me financial support and threatened me that if I proceed with my decision, I will never see my children again,” she said.

‘Nothing in my name’

During the years she lived with Singson, she said she did not own property, except for the pieces of jewelry he had given her.

“[There was] nothing in my name. I was a housewife and he made sure I was dependent on him. He did not allow me to work or learn how to make my own money,” Tiongson said. “But I do not regret it, because I can honestly say I never stole from him, contrary to how he wants to portray me.”

She said they only moved to Corinthian Gardens in 2005, but before that, they were living in a townhouse in Sta. Ana, Manila.

Tiongson said she is determined to fight Singson in court.

“It is my ticket to freedom and peace of mind. I hope the court would give us closure and decide that we are no longer together. If he gives me something, it would be out of the goodness of his heart, without [asking] anything in return,” she said.

At first she was reluctant to file a case against Singson. Out of fear for herself and her family’s safety, she decided to charge him with a violation of Republic Act No. 9262, or the Anti-Violence Against Women and Children Act (VAWC).

“I need protection from the court as I fear for my life, the safety of my family and the people close to me, including my boyfriend,” she said.

In her petition to the court, she asked for sole custody of the children and P300,000 monthly financial support for herself and the children.

She also said she wanted Singson to stop treating her like a sex object.

“I just want him to stop using me, like he does his other women. He would show up in my place—although we are already separated—to make love to me and then leave. I abhor it,” she said.

Falling in love

Tiongson said she first met Singson in 1992, when she was a freshman in college and he, a congressman.

They were introduced by socialite Becky Garcia in a party, she said.

After that meeting, Singson wooed her relentlessly. “He was persistent and told me he was separated from his wife Evelyn. After six months, I was in love and decided to live with him.”

She also said no one paid her or coaxed her to file a case against Singson.

“It was my decision. What he did [to me] was like a life sentence. I am scared even if we are separated ... How can I have another relationship after what he did to me and my boyfriend. He tortured him and beat me as a warning to all men not to get involved with me,” Tiongson said.